Contemplation

con·tem·pla·tion

1. transitive verb have something as possible intention: to think about something as a possible course of action
2. transitive verb consider something: to think about something seriously and at length, especially in order to understand it more fully
3. intransitive verb think about spiritual matters: to think calmly and at length, especially as a religious or spiritual exercise
4. transitive verb look at something thoughtfully: to look at something thoughtfully and steadily

I'm dwelling upon the past.

Last night there were dreams about the past, spanning all 30+ years of this lifetime. On a deeper level I also dreamt vibrant dreams of life before that, either mine or someone else's. I'm still not sure which. None of it was malicious, but more a rich stream of images and velvet whispers that subtly caress you; only to retreat just beyond reach when you attempt to focus upon them, to draw them fully into the light.

Whose was the voice that spoke with me last night? The loving and supportive threads of power and strength that quietly rose and fell last night. You were not my guardian angel; at least not the one I am accustomed too. But I do know you were with me last night. Perhaps you have always been with me, but you have never manifested yourself in my dreams. To what end do you make such strength known to me, and why now? Your touch is something I don't remember and yet there remains a sense of familiarity in all you showed me, in fact in you, yourself. Compassionate. Nurturing. Genderless. Mother, Father, Friend, and Lover. Yet you were here to effect something. Why else would you make such a prominent display of your capabilities?
I trust you and yet I can't define who you are. Bold as if you were a longtime lover, quietly slipping into bed with me, enveloping and lulling me; patiently teaching me as if there were no time outside of us. All the while gently turning my attention away from you and inwards back towards myself; like an adult quietly but firmly rebuking a small child. Ah yes, a very skilled lover you are; not lover in the physical, but in the spiritual. The pulse of your power is still echoing through me today.
I have the sense that I have known you and will know you again. Completeness. Harmony both within and without. Two become one; powerful alone yet together unstoppable. We wept together, we mourned together. We laughed together, repeatedly, as only a lover could laugh with their beloved. Yes, I remember that now, you whispered it to me, "my beloved."

I awoke this morning to the noisy city. Relaxed and at peace, but missing you.

I hear your quicksilver laughter still. Come back to me spirit. I would know more of you...