DAT'S A VERY BAD KITTY!!!

It was a long at the theatre on Saturday, but not long or tiring enough to cure the insomnia. So I found myself still on the couch at 3:30 am, finally thinking I could actually sleep. I excused myself to the bedroom and was just drifting through a couple of light meditations when CRASH!!! I'm jerked out of my reverie by the sounds of shattering glass. CRASH!!! I hear it again and realize it is coming my living room.

I bolt out of bed and throw open the door to the rest of the apartment, just in time to see Roo casually sitting on top of the refrigerator, working with grim determination on the coffee maker. Seems my little Darling no longer likes the way the cart has been arranged, and took it upon herself to attack from the air (no doubt stunning her prey with a surprise attack from above). Her prey was the ceramic jar containing the coffee, my Cafe Du Monde Mug. I arrived in time to save the coffeepot from her wrath.

So it's now 4am and there is glass and coffee grounds all over my house. And I've caught the assailant red pawed. And I'm all pissed off. To her credit, Roo froze perfectly when I opened the door, and glared at me in contempt. I very calmly locked eyes with her and Ordered her Down without moving or uttering a sound. After a few very long moments, she wisely took the order and jumped down (avoiding most of the mess) and climbed onto her kitty post, nose in the corner and back to me. I calmly cleaned up the mess and then walked over to her perch and very soothingly whispered to her, "You just earned yourself a retirement point to Animal Control sweetie, and you KNOW what they do to bad kitties there. I busted you out of death row, and I will put you back there. I want you to think about that tonight." And then I went back to bed to see what I could salvage of the 3 1/2 hours of sleep that remained to me before the alarm went off this morning at 8.

So my problem child has re-entered her destructive phase. I was hoping we had out-grown that. Evidently not, and I feel like an utter failure as a father.