Idle thoughts

Someone evidently needs another life lesson or something of the sort. My dander was been up ever since I came back from vacation. I returned to the show with a whole new way of looking at it. Unfortunately all that means is that I've validated my earlier conclusions. I made some comment about 'releasing all that doesn't serve' and so now I'm going to have to eat those words and follow my own advice. The days of Monkey Business are numbered.

How numbered? I went to Office Depot and laid in a new supply of printer ink, card stock, and resume paper. The resume is updated (all three different forms of it), and there are copies of each of them printed out for final editing, but they can be distributed as is.

I've also got the list of who's who and where, and have several red stars next to names. This Tuesday will be the launch date of the latest copy.

Who knows how long it will take to land something, but I've begun the project and it's official: I am looking for a new job.

Now it's back to dealing with the butterflys in my stomach... It's been very Comfortable having a 'government job'. They are hard to come by, having a hit show that is guaranteed to run for years. No hustling up work, not having to worry about paying rent in this city, not having to swing tracks I don't like to eat or buy the kitty litter, things like that... Things you don't worry about when you know what your paycheck is going be every week. I've grown soft and spoiled (and thoroughly enjoyed it) by not living the life of a freelancer. Unfortunately, my mind and soul demand something different, and I'm in agreement, even if I must go back to freelancing again for a while.

To quote Dreamgirls, "...and I'm tired. Effie, I'm tired of all the problems, you makin' up" You know who you are...

I'm almost to the point of getting out of show business again. I've had a 9 month period in my life where I wasn't working or booking theatre/entertainment gigs. 9 months in a lengthy 15 year career. My only 'break' was in 1996.

I'm 34 and supposed to be enjoying life, and doing the things I want to be doing. I remember when I used to enjoy going to work, and not have to shield and brace myself every day before I walk in the stage door.

It's funny, I've got everything in my career that I've ever wanted (and more), and I'm not happy; perhaps Satisfied is a better term. I've sacrificed my entire life to get to this level. Theatre/Entertainment was my passion and my hobby. The only challenges I face now are remaining passably pleasant around certain people I work with, a challenge I have not been succeeding at this past week.

So here's another one of Imps little life philosophies: "Do what you feel you must, and then bear the consequences."

Take that for what it's worth; heavens know it's gotten me into trouble before, and certainly will again, but it's something I firmly believe in. All actions have consequences, the tough part is being a man or woman and accepting the consequences.

My but I'm a bit maudlin tonight. And far too serious for this time of night (your morning). Time for a bit of Lucy, I can always count on my girl Lucy!!

Love and Light!