You Might Be Dressing on Broadway If:
- You consider personally doing your own laundry a complete waste of time.
- People in your union wear tinfoil hats to keep aliens from reading their brain(?) waves.
- You accept having one day off a week as the norm.
- You become frustrated when people don't grasp the concept of upstage/downstage.
- You understand the subtle nuances between dry cleaning fluid and vodka (Dry cleaning fluid comes in plastic bottles, while vodka is packaged in glass).
- You have quads of death from running 5 flights of stairs multiple times a day.
- Your chiropractor sends you a Christmas card asking for tickets in exchange for services.
- You can spot an untied shoe, unzipped trousers, or missing buttons, up to 100 ft away.
- Your union just recently completely screwed you on healthcare.
- You can execute a quickchange in the dark and not drop a stitch on your current knitting project (or lose your place in the novel you are reading).
- You can do 3 things simultaneously and never engage anything more than muscle memory.
- You are on a first name basis with local deli owners, who make your coffee "your way" whenever you walk in the front door, reguardless of who is in line ahead of you.
- You attempt to limit your binges to Sunday evening.
- The Container Store excites you immensely.
- You not only know the definition and use of a bitelight, but three different locations they can be purchased.
- You become violent when you catch someone cutting paper with your brand new Ginghers.
- You know what a Rub-A-Dub is, and what it's used for.
- You understand first hand the differences between "Cast," "Crew," and "Company."
- The only personal item in your work apron is a Percocet, 'for emergency purposes only.'
And the biggest sign You Might Be Dressing on Broadway....
20. You've seen so much tit and ass that you are no longer even remotely interested.